Thursday, October 20

Letting Go

I saw this on that blog, but it is so beautifully written and Jeff and his family really need our prayers, so I am taking the liberty of posting it here:

"Letting Go

Guest Author: jlfintx

When I found out in late 2004 that my father had terminal cancer, I thought this would be the hardest thing I would ever face. That is because my Dad and I lost each other somewhere along the way. When I was about 12, my brother developed a mental illness; he is 5 years older and is the first born of us four kids while I am the baby of the family.
Now I find out that my wife is dying and all that stuff has taken a back seat. I did write my Dad a letter telling him that I loved him and thanking him for instilling in me a good work ethic and a strong will, but he has not responded. Even at this time I cannot find a way to reach him, and my mother is kind of the same way. It would be nice to have parents that could help me get through the imminent death of my bride of 24 years, but it is pretty much me and the two kids to shoulder this alone, our daughter who is married and 23, and a son who lives with us and will be 21 on Halloween.
My wife has been sick for 19 years, but she has never complained or felt sorry for herself. There have been several times when we thought it was the end of the road, but she pulled through. She has never been this bad though; as she slips in and out of consciousness and is very confused and seems to not realize that she is dying. She did have a moment with her mother where she lit up with radiance and told her mother that she was dying, the night before she lapsed into a light coma, so we think God was telling her that her time is short.
The week before she took a turn, we had gone down to Houston to help evacuate nursing home residents for our company. When we got back, she was not feeling well and was complaining of being confused. After she proceeded to deteriorate, I took her to the ER in our city and the neurosurgeon said it was her disease and not the shunt in her head. After a couple of days, she was back in the hospital and eventually was transferred to a hospital in Dallas. They gave her some chemo and tried to stem the progress of her disease. They told us at that time that she could no longer take care of herself, so we were planning to have her live with her mother, 150 miles away. She would have to be fed, bathed, clothed, etc., and when we said goodbye, my son and I cried. The next morning, my mother-in-law called and said she had lost consciousness, and wanted to take her to the ER in her hometown. I told her to go and got my son out of work at his new job. When we got there the doctors were trying to get Dallas to accept her as they thought her shunt was stopped up as her pupils were fixed and dilated. Dallas refused, so the doctor there said he would just operate on her himself. He took the shunt out and left an external catheter for the CSF to freely flow. He finally got in touch with the chief of neurosurgery at Zale Lipshy in Dallas that agreed to take her, so she was care-flighted to Dallas. She is now in ICU and not expected to recover. We don’t know how long she will linger, but we trust God to get us through this heartache of losing our much-loved wife, mother, daughter, and precious child of God.
It is really hard for our kids as she has been the rock and the anchor of this family. I have never known a woman with such grace and kindness, and it was her that helped me understand the unconditional love of God. For that I thank her the most, but it is still very hard to let her go."

Please pray for Jeff and his family. He has been a mensch throughout this, and now has to face something I hope none of us ever has to. His parents live about 150 miles away.

I have Jeff's email address if anyone wants to contact him, to let him know that we care.

Thanks.

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