Friday, October 7

Poor Little Miss Mary

This is too rich. I came upon the link a Lucianne.com, and Kurtz (Wash-Post) did the excerpts, but allow me to add a heavy dollop of my especially malevolent salt to her wounds :-)

"I was incredulous that the mainstream press -- a group I'd been a part of for nearly twenty-five years and thought I knew -- was falling for the blogs' critiques. I was shocked at the ferocity of the attack. I was terrified at CBS's lack of preparedness in defending us. I was furious at the unrelenting attacks on Dan. And I was helpless to do anything about any of it."

Helpless? Oh, poor, poor little MSM girl. Think of it as kind of a parody of Gone With the Wind:.

Miss Mary Mapes: Oh, the Pajamahadeen are upon us Dan, whatever shall we do? They want the truth and we can't handle the truth.

Demo Dan: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn about the truth. Those memos may have been fake, but they were accurate.

And lest you think my referring to her as a little girl is unfairly cruel (cruelty is, after all, my greatest virtue :-), she brings it on herself:

“And right now, on the Internet, it appeared everything was falling apart. I had a real physical reaction as I read the angry online accounts. It was something between a panic attack, a heart attack, and a nervous breakdown. My palms were sweaty; I gulped and tried to breathe. . . . The little girl in me wanted to crouch and hide behind the door and cry my eyes out."

[Dark, malevolent laughter]

Poor little Mary. You can run, but you can't hide. Truth is a sharp knife, dear, and you can't keep it out of sight anymore.

She doesn't get it, she really doesn't get it:

"Faxing changes a document in so many ways, large and small, that analyzing a memo that had been faxed -- -in some cases not once, but twice -- -was virtually impossible. The faxing destroyed the subtle arcs and lines in the letters. The characters bled into each other. The details of how the typed characters failed to line up perfectly inside each word were lost."

Um, Mary, dahrlin', it was because they lined up so precisely that everyone knew they were fakes. Maybe the old “when you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance ya baffle 'em with bullshit” shtick gets you up the ladder at SeeBS, but when all you've got is bullshit, well, the Internet sees BS, and calls it like it sees it.

Now why would we have ever gotten this idea:

"To these people, there was no such thing as unbiased mainstream reporting, certainly not when it came to criticism of the president, no matter how tepid. To them, there was Fox News and everything else -- and everything else was liberal and unfair."

Well, you know Mary-chick, if you spent more time out here in Flyover country instead of your L³iberal hot house there in NYC, you might find that us rubes see things more clearly than you sophisticates who spent so goddamn much time bloviating on how horrible it was that some poor terrorist was made to stand next to a woman and that some aspiring artist had made a Piss Koran down at Gitmo.

Cheer up, babe. You may not be a hot-shot TV exec any more (and I doubt that you're about to add Bestselling Author to your resume, either), but they are hiring waitresses at the Waffle House. As tight as the labor market is if you can convince them you aren't on crack, they'll probably give you a shot.

Think of it as a learning experience.

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