Wednesday, December 14

GOD'S MAGIC

Hi Youse'all! It's been a while since I posted, but as some of you know, I have been fighting a VERY aggressive form of Prostate Cancer since the begining of July. Last evening my doctor called and told me that I had either killed the cancer outright or it was in Deep Remission. I asked him to repeat that news and he did. Instead of jumping for joy or doing cartwheels (never could do them, anyway) I just sat there numb and dumb. My doctor acutally had to call my name a few times before I recovered enough to talk. I told him thank you and that I felt, well, pleased for sure but someting else and didn't know what and couldn't explain it either. He said that MY choice of therapies had left me feeling ill, out of sorts, exhausted, nauseus, angry and over emotional for the last 6 months, that he had warned me it would make me feel that way, that we could go different, less "violent" way of treatment but I had insisted on this ugly painful course of treatment. Reminded him I said I wasn't going to lose this fight; that cancer had picked the wrong guy to fuck with. He laughed and said he remembered me saying that and he had told a group of other doctors what I'd said, and the consensus was that IF I really could endure this treatment, then cancer probably HAD picked a fight with the wrong guy.
Not 30 minutes after that call, I received an e-mail from an LGFer, someone who I've considered a friend but with whom I haven't really been in direct touch with recently, sent me, via e-mail, a truly uplifting and spiritual story (way too long to repeat here: suffice to say that in that story the Lord reveals himself at the very end and it's just - Words fail my ability to describe it). But I can say that although I read the story last night, I printed it out today and REALLY read it - and needed several tissues to finish it. When I told my Mom about being Cancer Free, it's as if I could FEEL an awful weight being lifted from her shoulders and she laughed, I mean really LAUGHED for the first time in I literally don't know how long. I then told her about the story and she insisted I read it to her, which I did (again, several tissues required) and my Mom said "God has touched you". I've always been sort of a casually religious guy, even after the cancer was discovered. Oh I pray from time to time, but I don't go to church, I'm not swearing off swearing or anything, but today I FEEL more religious, maybe more dedicated. And I honestly believe that my LGF friend, who sent me that uplifting story less than 30 minutes after the doctor gave me the news, BEFORE ANYONE ELSE KNEW that I was cancer free, was, in fact, God's Messinger. Sort of telling me that I may be a tough son of a gun, but HE'S the reason I beat cancer; the way I've chosen to live my life is why HE intervened. He said it happens many more times than most folk think and can happen repeatedly, depending on how you actually live your life, conduct yourself with others, God's there for you.

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